STEPS TO SUCCESS by BRIAN TRACY

Discipline yourself to do
what you know you
need to do to be the
very best in your field.
Perhaps the best
definition of self
discipline is this: "Self
discipline is the ability to
make yourself do what
you should do when you
should do it, whether
you feel like it or not." It
is easy to do something
when you feel like it.
It's when you don't feel
like it and you force
yourself to do it
anyway that you move
your life and career onto
the fast track.
What decisions do you
need to make today in
order to start moving
toward the top of your
field? Whatever it is,
either to get in or get
out, make a decision
today and then get
started. This single act
alone can change the
whole direction of your
life.
SEVEN STEPS TO SUCCESS
There is a powerful
seven step formula
that you can use to set
and achieve your goals
for the rest of your life.
Every single successful
person uses this
formula or some
variation of this formula
to achieve vastly more
than the average
person. And so can you.
Here it is:
Decide What You
Want
STEP NUMBER ONE:
decide exactly what it is
you want in each part
of your life. Become a
"meaningful specific"
rather than a
"wandering generality."
Write it Down
SECOND: write it down,
clearly and in detail.
Always think on paper.
A goal that is not in
writing is not a goal at
all. It is merely a wish
and it has no energy
behind it.
THIRD: set a deadline for
your goal. A deadline
acts as a "forcing
system" in your
subconscious mind. It
motivates you to do
the things necessary to
make your goal come
true. If it is a big enough
goal, set sub-deadlines
as well. Don't leave this
to chance.
Make a List
FOUR: make a list of
everything that you can
think of that you are
going to have to do to
achieve your goal. When
you think of new tasks
and activities, write
them on your list until
your list is complete.
Organize Your List
FIFTH: organize your list
into a plan. Decide what
you will have to do first
and what you will have
to do second. Decide
what is more important
and what is less
important. And then
write out your plan on
paper, the same way
you would develop a
blueprint to build your
dream house.
Take Action
The SIXTH step is for
you to take action on
your plan. Do something.
Do anything. But get
busy. Get going.
Do Something Every
Day
Do something every
single day that moves
you in the direction of
your most important
goal at the moment.
Develop the discipline of
doing something 365
days each year that is
moving you forward.
You will be absolutely
astonished at how
much you accomplish
when you utilize this
formula in your life
every single day.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you
can do to put these
ideas into action
immediately.
First, decide exactly
what you want, write it
down with a deadline,
make a plan and take
action – on at least one
goal – today!
Second, determine the
price you will have to
pay to achieve this goal
and then get busy
paying that price –
whatever it is.

HOW TO TAKE ADVICE

Is advice really
that hard to take
from others? Does
it make you any
less of a person
because you are
taking the advice
of others? Now
this may seem like
a trivial topic, and I
suppose in a sense
it is. However,
there are people
who don't like to
take advice from
others when they
do need it, or
where the advice
could of been of
much needed help.
Some of you
reading this will
not like taking
advice from
others, but
sometimes we
need advice.
Sometimes we are
faced with a
situation that we
don't know how to
handle effectively
and where the
advice of others
will be much
needed.
This post will go
through some
points to consider
that will, hopefully,
make it easier for
you to accept the
advice of others.
1. What are they
saying
Take the time to
think about what
they are saying.
Don't dismiss it
straight away
because you are
not in the mood for
someone to be
giving you advice,
what are they
actually saying?
Does the advice
they are giving
make sense? or is
it a load of
rubbish?
Sometimes this
can be decided
very quickly but
often having some
time to think
about what they
have said can
prove best.
Sometimes we
think that when
another person is
not as involved in
a situation, like we
might be for
example, we feel
their advice is
inadequate as
they don't know
enough about the
situation and so
can't make a valid
contribution. In
certain situations,
yes this is true. In
a lot of situations
however, this is
not true. This is
just an excuse for
not taking on
board another
persons advice.
Yes you may need
to bring them up to
speed with what's
going on, but they
may have some
legitimate advice
that you (and
team possibly)
have missed.
2. Let go of your
Pride
Some people will
not like to accept
advice no matter
what the
circumstance
because of one
thing...pride. I
discussed this in
one of my other
posts ( How to
Handle Criticism)
and it seems like
pride really can be
a hindrance. What
is wrong with
accepting advice?
Does it make us
any less of a
person, and the
other person more
superior? Does it
make you seem
weak?...no it
doesn't. The only
thing that will get
hurt is our ego if
we have one, so
put it to one side
and take the
advice on board.
Sometimes this is
more true for
people who are in
senior positions in
the workplace, not
always but you do
see it. They will
hear the advice
from those in
positions below
theirs but will not
take them simply
down to pride,
even if they don't
like to admit it.
Sometimes they
won't take the
advice full stop,
which is a shame.
Of course like I
mentioned, this
isn't true for
everyone in a
senior position.
It can also be true
the other way
around, for people
in lower positions,
when taking
advice from those
in senior positions.
They feel like they
are being talked
down to in a way
or patronised or
belittled, but this is
normally pride that
is in place. I'll
mention it again
though, this is not
true for everyone.
3. Don't Dismiss
because of
Dislike
Unfortunately
there are some
people in this
world who we
don't really get
along with, and
maybe some of
you reading this
have a dislike for a
person?, which I
hope not but it's
not uncommon.
This dislike for a
person can cloud
our vision when it
come to matters of
advice, because
we don't like the
person we don't
like the advice.
Don't, however,
knock the advice
they may give due
to emotional
interferences.
Think with a cool
head and bring in
point #1, think
about what they
are saying. When
you think about it
the advice they
are giving might
actually make very
good sense and
may be the best
option in the
current
circumstance.
This is common to
do, when we're not
fond of someone
we automatically
dismiss their ideas
as being the
'wrong choice' just
on the basis that
we hold something
against them. A
person who takes
all advice on board
(even from those
he/she dislike) and
considers all of
them is often
going to be able to
come out the other
side of the task in
hand in the best
predicament.
4. They want to
Help
A very obvious
reason why people
may give you
advice is simply
down to the fact
that they want to
help you. They see
that you're in a bit
of a predicament
and they would
like to give you
their view in trying
to get the best
from the situation.
Don't put up your
walls and convince
yourself that they
only want to see
you fail, and that
the advice that
they are giving
you is only
something to try
and hold you back.
Don't get me
wrong, sadly there
are people who will
try and do this, but
on the whole
people who give
you advice is
because they
want to help -
keep this in mind.
5. It can't Hurt
Advice from
someone else will
give you another
person's
perspective on the
situation, and
whether their view
is similar or
different to yours,
it can only be a
good thing to get
another person's
perspective, and
who knows, maybe
they've thought of
something that
you have missed?
You may think "no,
I haven't missed
anything", but,
some people have
a very unique and
offbeat view of
the world that
helps them to
come up with
things that
nobody else will
have thought -
and sometimes
you need people
like this.
Conclusion
Remember that
advice is just
advice and isn't
the law set in
stone, it's fully up
to you whether
you decide to take
it or not. Don't let
your current
feelings for a
person affect your
decision making by
not taking their
advice, of course if
their advice isn't
the best option
then don't go for it
but if it is don't
ignore it. Nobody
will think less of
you as a person
for taking advice,
in fact some
people will have a
greater amount of
respect for you for
asking their
advice. I'm not
saying that every
situation you are
in requires you to
ask for advice, but
when a situation
does occur and you
could be doing
things more
efficiently and you
are in a position to
ask for advice - do
it.
"The only thing to
do with good
advice is to pass it
on"
Oscar Wilde

USE ALL OF YOUR RESOURCES

" Use All Of Your
Resources... "
There was a
student, whom the
Master felt was
ready for his final
test. The Master
brought the student
to a large open field.
In the middle of this
field, was a very
large rock.
The Master said to
the student " For
your final test you
must move this rock
to the side of
the field, before the
sun goes down ( he
had about 8 hours ).
The Master said to
the student,
" Use all of you
resources. " The
student approached
the rock,and the
Master sat on the
shaded side ofthe
field, to observe.The
student tried to
move the rock with
his own
physical strength.
The student realized
the rock was much
to large for that. He
went into the
wooded area, to find
something to help
him move that rock.
He tried everything .
Something to help
him push it,
something to help
him to pull it, nothing
was helping.
He even tried building
a lever system,
made out of small
branches that he
managed
to extract from the
wooded areas.
Nothing was
working. He was
becoming tired,
and the sun was
getting low. So he
went to the Master
and said " I cannot
do it, I tried
everything That I
could think of, and
my time is almost
up." The master said
to
the student " You did
not ask me ". The
student replied " I did
not think I was
allowed to,
beside the fact that
I don't think even
two men could move
the rock. The Master
said ,
" I told you to use all
of your resources,
am I not a resource?
The Master
motioned with his
arm, and the entire
class came walking
over a small hill
where they were
waiting. They
came and easily
moved the rock to
the side of the field

7 SIMPLE TRUTHS FOR LEADERSHIP SUCCESS

We tend to over-
complicate things in life,
and when it comes to
defining what
successful leadership
looks like, we really,
really, over-complicate
it. Much of what
constitutes leadership
success comes down to
common sense, but
unfortunately it's not
common practice.
Searching the shelves
of your local bookstore
(do those still exist?) or
doing a search on
Amazon.com would lead
you to believe that in
order to be a successful
leader you'll need to find
some keys, take the
right steps, follow the
proper laws, figure out
the dysfunctions,
embrace the challenge,
ascend the levels, look
within yourself, look
outside yourself, form a
tribe, develop the right
habits, know the rules,
break the rules, be
obsessed, learn the
new science, or discover
the ancient wisdom. Did
I say we like to over-
complicate things?
I don't think leadership
should be that
complicated. If you're
looking for leadership
success, consider these
seven simple truths
(argh…I did it myself!):
1. There aren't any
shortcuts – Leadership
is hard work and most
of it is on the job
training. Formal
education and ongoing
development are
essential parts of
developing your
leadership competency,
but don't think you can
transform yourself into
a great leader by
reading a certain book
or taking a particular
training course. Great
leaders are built by
being in the game, not
by standing on the
sidelines or sitting in the
classroom.
2. Great leaders
started by being
great followers –
Most successful leaders
were successful
followers at some
point. They learned how
to be part of a team,
put the needs of others
ahead of their own, and
work toward a goal
bigger than themselves.
In our hero-worshiping
culture we tend to place
the spotlight on the
individual achievements
of leaders and not pay
much attention to how
they cultivated those
winning ways earlier in
their career. Learn to be
a good follower and
you'll learn what it
takes to be a good
leader.
3. There's no
mysterious secret to
leadership – Contrary
to the titles of popular
leadership books, there
is no single, mysterious
secret to unlocking
leadership success (see
truth #1). All those
books that I lovingly
needled offer valuable
insights about various
aspects of leadership,
but most of them tell
you what you already
know to be true…which
brings me to the next
point.
4. You already know
what it takes to be a
good leader – Not to
plagiarise Robert
Fulghum, but you
probably learned in
kindergarten most of
what it takes to be a
good leader. Be nice. Play
well with others. Say
please and thank you.
Do what you can to help
others. Of course you
have to mature and
apply those
fundamentals in adult
ways like being
transparent and
authentic with others,
challenging them to
strive for their goals,
holding people
accountable, and having
difficult conversations
when needed.
5. The difference
between
management and
leadership is
overrated – Tons of
books and blogs have
been written debating
the differences
between these two
concepts. Yes, each has
its own unique
characteristics, and yes,
each of them overlap
significantly in the
practice of leadership
and management.
Leaders have to
manage and managers
have to lead. Learn to
do them both well
because they are much
more similar than they
are different.
6. Leaders aren't
special – We're all
bozos on the same bus.
Leaders aren't any
more special than
individual contributors
and everyone is needed
to have a successful
team. If you view
leadership as service,
which I happen to do,
you should consider
your team members
more important than
yourself. Get your ego
out of the way and
you'll be on your way to
success.
7. Leadership is much
more about who you
are than what you
do – This is probably
the most important
truth I've learned about
leadership over my
career. I view leadership
as a calling, not a job.
As a calling, leadership
is about who I am—my
values, beliefs,
attitudes—and my
actions are the visible
manifestation of those
inner ideals. If you want
to be a successful
leader, your primary
focus should be on the
inner work that is
required, not on
behavioral tricks or
techniques.

5 KILL "HACKS" FOR NETWORKING AT SOCIAL EVENTS

Social media is hot.
Everyone is talking
about Facebook,
Twitter, and every
other social media site
under the sun.
These are great tools
for building and
maintaining
relationships. But they
aren't everything.
When it comes to
developing powerful
relationships, social
media is still no
substitute for old-
fashioned, face-to-face
networking.
In-person networking is
simply one of the best
activities you can
engage in for your
career or your business,
hands down.
Anyone who thinks
they can stay behind
their computer, holed
away at home, relying
100% on social media
for meeting people and
developing key
relationships is fooling
themselves.
In fact, the most
effective networking
approach today is
twofold: one part online,
and one part old-
fashioned, face-to-face,
in-person networking.
They are two sides of
the same coin.
A good networking
plan does not rely too
much on either online or
offline networking, but
does include aspects of
both.
How Face-to-
Face Networking
Is Different
Face-to-face
networking is very
different from social
networking. For
starters, you'll actually
need to put on pants.
Sorry, but this is a
mandatory requirement.
If you work from home,
that means you may
need to change out of
your pajamas (hopefully
it's not the first time in
days).
I recognize that
networking at in-person
events is more difficult
for those who are shy
or introverted.
However, there are
many little "hacks" you
can use to make face-
to-face networking
easier on yourself,
whether you are
introverted or not.
Here are a 5 killer hacks
for networking
effectively at old-
fashioned, in-person
events:
1. Commit Yourself
to Helping Others.
Before you go to any
networking event, I
want you to summon
your most positive, can-
do, helpful attitude, and
I want you to not even
think about getting
clients, customers, or a
new job. For some
people, this may seem
completely counter-
intuitive. After all, isn't
the whole point of
networking to get more
business or to further
your career?
The truth is, if you go
into an in-person
networking event just
thinking about yourself,
people will sniff you out
in a heartbeat. You'll
stand out more than
Bugs Bunny dressed
up as a girl .
Conversely, if you
commit yourself to
helping others in any
way possible - be it a
restaurant
recommendation, or a
tech tip, or a book
suggestion - you will be
more human and people
will want to help you in
return.
Here's the "hack" part -
after your event, email
at least 1 or 2 people
you met at the event
with a tip, advice,
resource, or some other
way to help, based on
what you learned about
them. This one little
step will go a long way.
2. Make An
Introduction. I love
introducing people. If
you introduce two
people and they hit it
off, they will always be
grateful to you. Trust
me on this - my parents
first met on a blind
date.
And people who you
have introduced to
someone else are more
likely to return the
favor. This works even
with people you just
met at an in-person
networking event.
3. Connect with
People Over their
Families. You know
that saying, "the
easiest way to a man's
heart is through his
stomach"? Well, I
believe the easiest way
to a networking
partner's heart is
through their immediate
family members.
At most networking
events, people talk
about work-related or
industry-related
subjects. That's what
everyone else does, but
you don't need to do
that. You can really
distinguish yourself by
talking about a person's
spouse or family, if you
get the right
opportunity.
If you just met
someone and start
asking about a person's
family without the
proper opening, they're
probably just going to
think you're a weirdo.
But if you do get an
opening, then asking
about a person's family
and looking for
opportunities to help
their children or spouse
is an excellent hack for
getting to know them a
lot better.
4. If You Are Shy or
Introverted, Focus
on Others. I get asked
a lot about what advice
I have for people who
really hate networking
because they are shy or
introverted. If you are
really shy and don't like
meeting new people,
then the best advice I
can give you is that the
best
conversationalists
often don't talk
much at all.
People love talking
about themselves, and
if you ask a lot of
questions and take a lot
of interest in them, you
don't have to be a good
conversationalist. Most
people will enjoy the
opportunity to speak
about themselves to a
captive audience. And
they will enjoy speaking
with you.
5. Use the 80/20
Rule for Following
Up. If you were to
measure the amount of
time most people spend
on networking activities
aimed at meeting new
people vs. the amount
of time they spend
following up with the
people they already
know, you'd be shocked
at how imbalanced it is.
People spend too much
time trying to meet
new people and too
little time following up
with and nurturing
relationships with
people they already
know.
In fact, your efforts
should be the other
way around: use the
80/20 rule (aka the
Pareto Principle) to
further and develop
relationships with your
existing network.
This in turn will lead to
meeting new people
because people who
you already know are
more likely to be a
gateway for you to
their friends and
connections.
After all, you have
already spent time and
energy getting to know
people in your network
and they have already
(presumably) grown to
know, like and trust
you.
So be sure to spend
time and energy
networking with people
who are in your
network already.

25 STEPS TO SUCCESS

Who doesn't want to
strive and become
successful? Exactly, no
one. Deep inside all of
us, we have our own
personal reasons for
striving for success,
and really, we all define
success in very
different ways
whether it is for
financial freedom or
mere sense of
accomplishment.
When you go to the
bookstore, there is a
reason that there are
six thousand different
books proclaiming to
know the recipe for
success; it's one of the
most sought after
things on the planet.
Ironically, we tend to
think that the most
complicated solutions
are the most effective
and we subsequently
ignore the simple facts.
Simplicity is what
makes everything
possible and with every
great feat, there were
hundreds of small,
simple decisions that
had to take place first.
Look at Google and their
simplistic homepage; did
simple work for them?
In this article I am not
going to break some
earth-shattering news
or reveal a 10-step
program to success.
Instead, I want to
refresh your brain a
little, tip some simplistic
approaches and get you
back to basics. The
simplest things are
easily forgotten, have
some of these fallen
from your scope?
1. Let go of the past.
Act and apply in the
present and shape up
the future
2. Utilize your failures
as a guide towards
success
3. Do not try. Just do it.
4. Make a list of your
dreams. No matter how
hard they might be to
achieve, just sit down
and write all your
dreams down.
5. Make a list of your goals
and think how you can
achieve them
6. Use negative feedback
and criticism to your
advantage and better
yourself
7. If you want to be
successful in someone
else's game (if you have
a boss), play by their
rules or create your
own game.
8. Make a list of your
values. What do you
value most and build
your success upon
them
9. Keep personal time
separate from
business time.
10. Your success depends
on your failures as well
as your achievements.
11. If you are in doubt let
someone else do it.
Doubtfulness is saying I
almost believe it. If you
don't fully believe it,
leave it for someone
else who does
12. Avoid interruptions
during your productivity
time. Whatever it might
be, work or family or
some alone time,
interruptions can throw
you off for whatever it
is you are doing.
13. Determine your peak
performance hours.
Work at a point in day
when you feel like you
are most effective.
14. Breath deeply and let go
off any stress.
15. Rest and relaxation
plays as much an
important part as
exercise itself.
16. Do not worry. All it does
is gets you ready for
negative outcomes.
17. Think happy thoughts
and there will be
positive outcomes.
18. Do not step back from
the job at hand when
fear subsides in you.
19. Use your brain not only
your heart.
20. Eliminate emotions by
letting go off the past
and thinking about the
present.
21. What has happened in
the past will most
probably stay the
same; you can't change
it. Instead focus on the
present and live today
instead of yesterday.
22. Don't let the time
control you. You control
the time.
23. Time management is
the most effective tool
you can utilize and
become successful.
24. Create strategies and
build credibility among
your peers.
25. Once again, forget the
past and live it up in the
present.
Those were my
thoughts and what I
practice and preach. Feel
free to add more
through your
comments. Another key
reason to becoming
successful is following
advice and suggestions
so lets go ahead and
use the comment
section for that
purpose.

RELEASE YOUR INNER WINNER by MARTIN WILSON

We are the
WINNERS !
We don't just
embrace change, we
thrive on it. We ARE
the change we
WANT to see.
When bold new
things present
themselves, we go
for it !
When challenges
come in our way, we
blast through them.
We know that
blessings come
wrapped in
difficulties.
The bigger the
challenge, the bigger
the reward when we
work through the
challenge.
We are the
entrepreneurs -- the
leaders, the thinkers,
the doers, the go
getters.
We set goals and
reach them. We
dream bold dreams
and achieve them.
We carve the paths
others will run on.
We don't wait for life
to happen, we make
life happen.
We are the
connectors, the
change makers, the
innovators.
We aspire to conquer
new heights, we
inspire others to
greatness.
Motivated, Focused,
Purpose Driven,
Determined.
It's a life-changing
force that lives
within everyone on
earth.
RELEASE YOUR INNER
WINNER!
Become more. Do
more. Have more.

BE YOUR OWN HERO by MARTIN WILSON

You ARE a Winner,
so...
Follow your passion
it knows where you
should go.
Help People. Explore,
Play, Laugh,
Move More, Stress
Less.
Set and CELEBRATE
Milestones.
You have to put
something out there
to get something
back.
Everything you wnat
and need is up to you
to make happen.
GET OUT THERE and
Make Your Own Path.
Define what success
looks like to you and
GO AFTER IT.
Nourish your mind
and body, take time
out often.
Set goals, WRITE
THEM DOWN and
look at them
EVERYDAY.
Give yourself
permission, trust
your instincts.
NEVER stop learning
and experimenting.
Embrace Your Online
Business.
IGNORE DOUBTERS
EVEN IF THEY ARE
IN YOUR OWN
HEAD.
THE ONLY THING
YOU HAVE TO FEAR
IS FEAR ITSELF.
BELIEVE IN
YOURSELF.
NEVER, NEVER,
NEVER GIVE UP.
BE YOUR OWN
HERO!
DO IT NOW!

THE BENEFITS OF HARDWORK

Work, for a lot of
us is a drag, and
the prospect of an
early retirement or
a change of career
would be well
accepted.
There are a few
lucky individuals
who enjoy their
work and are very
happy with their
career.
As so many people
complain about
work, I thought it
would be a good
idea to put a post
together
explaining the
benefits of hard
work , and why it's
good for us, even
if we believe that
it's a horrible thing.
When I say that
work is good for
us, I mean hard
work. Work is
good as a whole,
but to really see
the benefits,
working hard is
required. Now just
because it's hard
work, it doesn't
mean that it has to
be unpleasant or
uncomfortable, it's
definitely doable
for all of us.
If we want to see
the ' fruits of our
labour' as it were,
then as the major
key, learning to
enjoy hard work,
or at least being
able to have a
critical
appreciative
understanding of
it is essential.
If we look to
history and the
things that have
come about, we
can see that a lot
of hard work has
been put in. For
example: the
inventions that
came about
through various
people; Thomas
Edison, Leonardo
Da Vinci, Henry
Ford, etc... All of
these people had
to put in a lot of
hard work.
The point I'm
trying to get
across is that, if
we want to
achieve success
and our goals,
hard work will
need to take place.
1. Sense of
Achievement
After we've
completed a
session of hard
work, not only is it
rewarding to see
the end result, but
it also gives the
sense of
achievement,
which really it is an
achievement.
It might not be an
achievement on
the same level as a
Nobel prize, but an
achievement is an
achievement.
2. It gives us
goals and
ambitions
When we have a
purpose, a
meaningful
purpose, hard
work must be
applied no matter
what.
A meaningful
purpose allows us
to have the
ambition and
drive that we
need to fuel our
bodies for work.
Having the
ambition and drive
gives us hope, and
having hope can
bring rewards.
Not only can your
meaningful
purpose be
fulfilled, but you'll
notice that other
goals will start to
take shape as
progress with
working hard.
3. Improves your
work ethic
Working hard
makes you
appreciate it more.
You'll realise that
things can't just
get done on their
own, and you can't
always rely on
other people to do
it for you. Having
an appreciation
for work, and
knowing that
nothing would
ever get done
without it, is not
only great for a
work ethic, but is
also good for your
development as a
person.
4. It teaches you
to be
responsible and
independent
Working hard will
mean that we will
inevitably make a
mistake. A
mistake, is not
only a learning
curve for our
minds, but also a
chance for you to
be responsible and
accountable for
the mistake. Thus
in turn making you
more independent
and (hopefully)
more reliable in the
future.
5. Teaches us
about team
work
If we're in a
working
environment
where we're in
close contact with
other people,
working hard and
effectively is great
for getting people
to gel together,
and become a
team.
It teaches us
about different
personalities,
different habits,
different egos.
Getting used to
this makes it
easier for us to
work in a group
environment.
6. Keeps us
productive
The main benefit
of working hard is
the productivity
side of things. The
bottom line is; the
harder you work -
the more you get
done, the more
you get done - the
better you feel
afterwards.
7. It gives our
life some
structure
If we always did
what we wanted,
not only would we
get nothing done,
but we wouldn't
really have a
structure to our
life. Work, for the
vast majority of
people, consumes
a large chunk of
their weekly life.
If we didn't have
work though,
although it would
be nice at first, our
lives wouldn't
have a structure
and wouldn't be
very well
coordinated.
In fact, not only
would we not have
a structure, but
society as a whole
would not have a
structure and
break-down.

Allosgabriel: Biography Of Pastor Chris Oyakhilome

Allosgabriel: Biography Of Pastor Chris Oyakhilome: Pastor Chris was brought up in a strict Christian home, was born again at the age of 9 and started his ministry as a young undergraduate...

FIFTY MOTIVATIONAL AND BUSINESS QUOTES

1. Courage is being
scared to death, but
saddling up anyway. ~
John Wayne
2. If you don't make
things happen then
things will happen to
you. ~ Robert Collier
3. A business has to be
involving, it has to be
fun, and it has to
exercise your creative
instincts. ~ Richard
Branson
4. Live daringly, boldly,
fearlessly. Taste the
relish to be found in
competition – in having
put forth the best
within you. ~ Henry J.
Kaiser
5. Winning is not a
sometime thing; it's an
all time thing. You don't
win once in a while, you
don't do things right
once in a while, you do
them right all the
time.Winning is habit.
Unfortunately, so is
losing. ~ Vince Lombardi
6. You were born to win,
but to be a winner, you
must plan to win,
prepare to win, and
expect to win. ~ Zig
Ziglar
7. A business that
makes nothing but
money is a poor
business. ~ Henry Ford
8. Whatever the mind of
man can conceive and
believe, it can achieve.
Thoughts are things!
And powerful things at
that, when mixed with
definiteness of
purpose, and burning
desire, can be
translated into riches. ~
Napoleon Hill
9. To be successful, you
have to have your heart
in your business, and
your business in your
heart. ~ Thomas
Watson, Sr.
10. Success is walking
from failure to failure
with no loss of
enthusiasm. ~ Winston
Churchill
11. To succeed… You
need to find something
to hold on to,
something to motivate
you, something to
inspire you. ~ Tony
Dorsett
12. Things work out
best for those who
make the best of how
things work out. ~ John
Wooden
13. You've got to say, I
think that if I keep
working at this and
want it badly enough I
can have it. It's called
perseverance. ~ Lee
Iacocca
14. Forget past
mistakes. Forget
failures. Forget
everything except what
you're going to do now
and do it. ~ William
Durant
15. I find that when you
have a real interest in
life and a curious life,
that sleep is not the
most important thing. ~
Martha Stewart
16. Success in business
requires training and
discipline and hard work.
But if you're not
frightened by these
things, the
opportunities are just
as great today as they
ever were. ~ David
Rockefeller
17. Success is liking
yourself, liking what
you do, and liking how
you do it. ~ Maya
Angelou
18. Nothing great was
ever achieved without
enthusiasm. ~ Ralph
Waldo Emerson
19. If you are going
through hell, keep going.
~ Winston Churchill
20. It does not matter
how slowly you go, so
long as you do not stop.
~ Confucius
21. I've always believed
that one woman's
success can only help
another woman's
success. ~ Gloria
Vanderbilt
22. Life isn't worth living
unless you're willing to
take some big chances
and go for broke. ~ Eliot
Wiggington
23. Life's challenges are
not supposed to
paralyze you; they're
supposed to help you
discover who you are. ~
Bernice Johnson Reagon
24. The successful
warrior is the average
man, with laser-like
focus. ~ Bruce Lee
25. You can't connect
the dots looking
forward; you can only
connect them looking
backwards. So you have
to trust that the dots
will somehow connect
in your future.
26. You have to trust in
something – your gut,
destiny, life, karma,
whatever. This
approach has never let
me down, and it has
made all the difference
in my life. ~ Steve Jobs
27. If you don't value
your time, neither will
others. Stop giving
away your time and
talents. Value what you
know and start
charging for it. ~ Kim
Garst
28. Optimism is the
faith that leads to
achievement. Nothing
can be done without
hope and confidence. ~
Helen Keller
29. People become really
quite remarkable when
they start thinking that
they can do things.
When they believe in
themselves, they have
the first secret of
success. ~ Norman
Vincent Peale
30. Progress always
involves risks. You can't
steal second base and
keep your foot on first.
~ Frederick B Wilcox
31. Quality means doing
it right when no one is
looking. ~Henry Ford
32. Twenty years from
now you will be more
disappointed by the
things that you didn't
do than by the ones you
did do. ~ Mark Twain
33. The difference
between ordinary and
extraordinary is that
little extra. ~ Jimmy
Johnson
34. The essential
question is not, "How
busy are you?" but
"What are you busy
at?" ~ Oprah Winfrey
35. If you genuinely
want something, don't
wait for it – teach
yourself to be
impatient. ~ Gurbaksh
Chahal
36. There are no
shortcuts to any place
worth going. ~ Beverly
Sills
37. We can let
circumstances rule us,
or we can take charge
and rule our lives from
within. ~ Earl Nightingale
38. Success is the sum
of small efforts –
repeated day in and day
out. ~ Robert Collier
39. I have not failed.
I've just found 10,000
ways that won't work.
~ Thomas A. Edison
40. Take up one idea.
Make that one idea your
life – think of it, dream
of it, live on that idea.
Let the brain, muscles,
nerves, every part of
your body, be full of
that idea, and just leave
every other idea alone.
This is the way to
success. ~ Swami
Vivekananda
41. Every great dream
begins with a dreamer.
Always remember, you
have within you the
strength, the patience,
and the passion to
reach for the stars to
change the world. ~
Harriet Tubman
42. No one saves us but
ourselves. No one can
and no one may. We
ourselves must walk
the path. ~ Buddha
43. Nothing is
particularly hard if you
divide it into small jobs.
~ Henry Ford
44. When I dare to be
powerful – to use my
strength in the service
of my vision, then it
becomes less and less
important whether I
am afraid. ~ Audre
Lorde
45. Don't let the fear of
losing be greater than
the excitement of
winning. ~ Robert
Kiyosaki
46. If you work just for
money, you'll never
make it, but if you love
what you're doing and
you always put the
customer first, success
will be yours. ~ Ray Kroc
47. The only place
where success comes
before work is in the
dictionary. ~ Vidal
Sassoon
48. The important thing
is not being afraid to
take a chance.
Remember, the
greatest failure is to
not try. Once you find
something you love to
do, be the best at doing
it. ~ Debbi Fields
49. Have a very good
reason for everything
you do. ~ Laurence
Olivier
50. Capital isn't scarce;
vision is. ~ Sam W

FIFTY TOP INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

Top 50 Inspirational
Quotes
1. "Great spirits have
always encountered
violent opposition from
mediocre minds." –
Albert Einstein.
2. "Act now. There is
never any time but
now, and there never
will be any time but
now." – Wallace Wattles
3. "We are what we
repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not
an act, but a habit." –
Aristotle
4. "The greatest
discovery of my
generation is that a
human being can alter
his life by altering the
attitudes of his mind." –
William James
5. "It is not the
strongest of the
species that survive,
nor the most intelligent,
but the one most
responsive to change."
– Charles Darwin
6. "There is no passion
to be found playing
small – in settling for a
life that is less than the
one you are capable of
living." – Nelson Mandela
7. "In three words I can
sum up everything I've
learned about life: It
goes on." – Robert Frost
8. "You've got to win in
your mind before you
win in your life." – John
Addison
9. "Life shrinks or
expands in proportion to
one's courage." – Anais
Nin
10. "An ounce of doing
things is worth a pound
of theorizing." – Wallace
Wattles
11. "The pessimist sees
difficulty in every
opportunity. The
optimist sees the
opportunity in every
difficulty." – Winston
Churchill
12. "Our ultimate
freedom is the right and
power to decide how
anybody or anything
outside ourselves will
affect us." – Stephen
Covey
13. "The aim of an
argument or discussion
should not be victory,
but progress." – Joseph
Joubert
14. "Destiny is not a
matter of chance, it is a
matter of choice; it is
not a thing to be waited
for, it is a thing to be
achieved." – Winston
Churchill
15. "Don't wait for a
light to appear at the
end of the tunnel Stride
down there and light
the bloody thing
yourself." – Dara
Henderson
16. "Your life does not
get better by chance, it
gets better by change."
– Jim Rohn
17. "Vision without
action is just a dream,
action without vision
just passes the time,
vision with action can
change the world" –
Nelson Mandela
18. "Only those who will
risk going too far can
possibly find out how
far one can go." – T.S.
Eliot
19. "To live is the rarest
thing in the world. Most
people exist, that is all."
– Oscar Wilde
20. "Freedom is not the
absence of
commitments, but the
ability to choose yours."
– Paulo Coelho
21. "Conformity is the
jailer of freedom and
the enemy of growth."
– John F. Kennedy
22. "I am tomorrow, or
some future day, what
I establish today. I am
today what I
established yesterday
or some previous day."
– James Joyce
23. "I have learned that
it's not WHAT I have in
my life but WHO I have
in my life that counts."
– Unknown
24. "Go confidently in
the direction of your
dreams. Live the life you
have imagined." – Henry
David Thoreau
25. "If you don't design
your own life plan,
chances are you'll fall
into someone else's
plan. And guess what
they have planned for
you? Not much." – Jim
Rohn
26. "Simplicity is the
ultimate sophistication."
– Leonardo da Vinci
27. "Things which
matter most must
never be at the mercy
of things which matter
least." – Goethe
28. "It's time to start
living the life you've
imagined" – Henry
James
29. "And in the end it's
not the years in your
life that count. It's the
life in your years." –
Abraham Lincoln
30. "Too many people
spend money they
haven't earned, to buy
things they don't want,
to impress people they
don't like." – Will Rogers
31. "Try not. Do or do
not. There is no Try." –
Yoda (Star Wars!)
32. "Every man dies. Not
every man really lives."
– William Wallace
33. "The only limit to
our realization of
tomorrow will be our
doubts of today." –
Franklin D. Roosevelt
34. "There are no limits
on what you can
achieve with your life,
except the limits you
accept in your mind" –
Brian Tracy
35."Don't be pushed by
your problems. Be led by
your dreams." – Ralph
Waldo Emerson.
36. "Either you run the
day or the day runs
you." – Jim Rohn
37. "When I thought I
couldn't go on, I forced
myself to keep going.
My success is based on
persistence, not luck." –
Estee Lauder
38. "The greatest
mistake you can make
in life is to be continually
fearing you will make
one." ~ Elbert Hubbard
39. "The difference
between school and
life? In school, you're
taught a lesson and
then given a test. In
life, you're given a test
that teaches you a
lesson." – Tom Bodett
40. "Action is the
foundational key to all
success." – Pablo
Picasso
41. "The secret of
getting started is
breaking your complex,
overwhelming tasks
into small manageable
tasks, and then
starting on the first
one." – Mark Twain
42. "There is only one
success – to be able to
spend your life in your
own way." –
Christopher Morley
43. "Though no one can
go back and make a
brand new start,
anyone can start from
now and make a brand
new ending." – Carl Bard
44. "Nothing important
was ever achieved
without someone
taking a chance." – H.
Jackson Brown, Jr.
45. "I will go anywhere
as long as it is
forward." – David
Livingston
46. "Take the first step
in faith. You don't have
to see the whole
staircase, just take the
first step." – Martin
Luther King Jr.
47. "The greater danger
for most of us is not
that our aim is too high
and we miss it, but
that it is too low and
we reach it." –
Michelangelo
48. "Many of life's
failures are people who
did not realize how
close they were to
success when they
gave up." – Thomas A.
Edison
49. "Strive for progress,
not perfection." –
Unknown
50. "Twenty years
from now you will be
more disappointed by
the things you didn't do
than the ones you did.
So, throw off the
bowlines. Sail away
from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds
in your sails. Explore.
Dream. Discover." –
Mark Twain

FIFTY POSITIVE QUOTES

50 Positive Thinking
Quotes
"Life has many ways of
testing a person's will,
either by having nothing
happen at all or by
having everything
happen all at once." –
Paulo Coelho
"There are two ways
of spreading light: to be
the candle, or the mirror
that reflects it." - Edith
Wharton
"With everything that
has happened to you,
you can either feel sorry
for yourself or treat
what has happened as
a gift. Everything is
either an opportunity to
grow or an obstacle to
keep you from growing.
You get to choose." –
Dr. Wayne W Dyer
"Believe in yourself!
Have faith in your
abilities! Without a
humble but reasonable
confidence in your own
powers you cannot be
successful or happy." -
Norman Vincent
Peale
"Hate. It has caused a
lot of problems in this
world but has not
solved one yet." – Maya
Angelou
"If opportunity doesn't
knock, build a door." –
Milton Berle
"An attitude of positive
expectation is the mark
of the superior
personality." - Brian
Tracy
"Success consists of
going from failure to
failure without loss of
enthusiasm." –
Winston Churchill
"If you can dream it,
then you can achieve it.
You will get all you want
in life if you help enough
other people get what
they want." – Zig
Ziglar
"The only place where
your dream becomes
impossible is in your
own thinking." – Robert
H Schuller
"We don't see things as
they are, we see them
as we are." – Anais Nin
"Our greatest
weakness lies in giving
up. The most certain
way to succeed is
always to try just one
more time." – Thomas
Edison
"I may not have gone
where I intended to go,
but I think I have ended
up where I needed to
be." – Douglas Adams
"Learning is a gift. Even
when pain is your
teacher." - Maya
Watson
"I've had a lot of
worries in my life, most
of which never
happened" – Mark
Twain
"You yourself, as much
as anybody in the entire
universe, deserve your
love and affection." –
Buddha
"Hope is a waking
dream." – Aristotle
"The past has no
power over the present
moment." – Eckhart
Tolle
"Happiness is an
attitude. We either
make ourselves
miserable, or happy and
strong. The amount of
work is the same." –
Francesca Reigler
"I do believe we're all
connected. I do believe
in positive energy. I do
believe in the power of
prayer. I do believe in
putting good out into
the world. And I believe
in taking care of each
other." - Harvey
Fierstein
"If you want light to
come into your life, you
need to stand where it
is shining." – Guy Finley
"Today is a new
beginning, a chance to
turn your failures into
achievements & your
sorrows into so goods.
No room for excuses." -
Joel Brown
"Life is a gift, and it
offers us the privilege,
opportunity, and
responsibility to give
something back by
becoming more." –
Tony Robbins
"We are all here for
some special reason.
Stop being a prisoner of
your past. Become the
architect of your
future." – Robin
Sharma
"If you think you can do
a thing or think you
can't do a thing, you're
right." – Henry Ford
"No matter what the
situation, remind
yourself "I have a
choice." – Deepak
Chopra
"All you can change is
yourself, but
sometimes that
changes everything!" –
Gary W Goldstein
"The will to win, the
desire to succeed, the
urge to reach your full
potential… these are the
keys that will unlock
the door to personal
excellence." –
Confucius
"If we're growing,
we're always going to
be out of our comfort
zone." – John C
Maxwell
"Take chances, make
mistakes. That's how
you grow. Pain
nourishes your courage.
You have to fail in order
to practice being brave."
– Mary Tyler Moore
"I am the greatest, I
said that even before I
knew I was." –
Muhammad Ali
"We are responsible for
what we are, and
whatever we wish
ourselves to be, we
have the power to
make ourselves." –
Swami Vivekananda
"The difference
between stumbling
blocks and stepping
stones is how you use
them." – Unknown
"If someone tells you,
"You can't" they really
mean, "I can't." – Sean
Stephenson
"There is little
difference in people, but
that little difference
makes a big difference.
The little difference is
attitude. The big
difference is whether it
is positive or negative."
– W. Clement Stone
"Whatever you want to
do, do it now. There are
only so many
tomorrows." – Michael
Landon
"When I do good, I feel
good. When I do bad, I
feel bad. That's my
religion." – Abraham
Lincoln
"The difference in
winning and losing is
most often…not
quitting." – Walt
Disney
"You are never too old
to set another goal or
dream a new dream." –
C.S Lewis
"All things are difficult
before they are easy." –
Thomas Fuller
"Success is falling nine
times and getting up
ten." – Jon Bon Jovi
"Happiness, like
unhappiness, is a
proactive choice." –
Stephen Covey
"Be soft. Do not let the
world make you hard.
Do not let pain make
you hate. Do not let the
bitterness steal your
sweetness. Take pride
that even though the
rest of the world may
disagree, you still
believe it to be a
beautiful place." – Kurt
Vonnegut
"You must make a
decision that you are
going to move on. It
wont happen
automatically. You will
have to rise up and say,
'I don't care how hard
this is, I don't care how
disappointed I am, I'm
not going to let this get
the best of me. I'm
moving on with my life."
– Joel Osteen
"The next time you feel
slightly uncomfortable
with the pressure in
your life, remember no
pressure, no diamonds.
Pressure is a part of
success." - Eric
Thomas
"When the world
pushes you to your
knees, you're in the
perfect position to
pray." – Rumi
"If you can change your
mind, you can change
your life." – William
James
"When we are no longer
able to change a
situation, we are
challenged to change
ourselves." – Viktor
Frankl
"Happiness often
sneaks in through a
door you didn't know
you left open." – John
Barrymore
"The best way to gain
self-confidence is to do
what you are afraid to
do." – Unknown

EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE

“Emotional baggage,” which is carried over from the past, colors our perceptions. Likewise, past conclusions and beliefs, based on reasoning that may or may not have been accurate, also tint our perception of reality. Retaining our capacity for reason is common sense, but definite conclusions and beliefs keep us from seeing life as it really is at any given moment.

Emotional reactions can be unreasonable, and reason can be flawed. It’s difficult to have deep confidence in either one, especially when they’re often at war with each other. But the universal mind exists in the instant, in a moment beyond time, and it sees the universe as it literally is. It’s the universe perceiving itself. It is, moreover, something we can have absolute confidence in, and with that confidence, we can maintain a genuinely positive attitude.”
― H.E. Davey

POSITIVE ATTITUDE

“A positive attitude is most easily arrived at through a deliberate and rational analysis of what’s required to manifest unwavering positive thought patterns. First, reflect on the actual, present condition of your mind. In other words, is the mind positive or not? We’ve all met individuals who perceive themselves as positive people but don’t appear as such. Since the mind is both invisible and intangible, it’s therefore easier to see the accurate characteristics of the mind through a person’s words, deeds, and posture.

For example, if we say, “It’s absolutely freezing today! I’ll probably catch a cold before the end of the day!” then our words expose a negative attitude. But if we say, “The temperature is very cold” (a simple statement of fact), then our expressions, and therefore attitude, are not negative. Sustaining an alert state in which self-awareness becomes possible gives us a chance to discover the origins of negativity. In doing so, we also have an opportunity to arrive at a state of positiveness, so that our words and deeds are also positive, making others feel comfortable, cheerful, and inspired.”
― H.E. Davey

LEADERSHIP

Leadership, Management, Command, & Control

While there are plenty of discussions about leadership verses management and the need for command and control nowadays, these are important concepts that every leader must be aware of to successfully guide their organization. In fact, they are the four pillars of every organization as they directly drive the organization. Used properly, the business will grow; used improperly, the business will sink.
These are not distinct processes, but rather concepts that all leaders perform in order to build and strengthen their organizations.

As the above diagram shows, the four pillars overlap, thus they are not separate processes. This blending gives the organization the ability to focus on opportunities and deal with threats:

• Leadership drives the interpersonal aspects of the organization, such as moral and team spirit.
• Management deals with the conceptual issues of the organization, such as planning and organizing.
• Command guides the organization with well thought-out visions that makes it effective.
• Control provides structure to the organization in order to make it more efficient.

Benefits of the Four Processes

Command and Control

While most people think of command as simply telling others what to do, it goes far beyond that. Command is the imparting of a vision to the organization in order to achieve and end-goal. It does this by formulating a well-thought out vision and then clearly communicating it. Command emphasizes success and reward. That is, the organization has to be successful to survive and in turn reward its members (both intrinsically and extrinsically).
An example would be visioning a process that helps to increase informal learning and make it more effective. A bad vision would be implementing a social media tool, such as a wiki or Twitter. This is because social media tools are the means rather than an end-goal. That is, they are more like specific objectives that enable you to achieve your end-goal (vision).
Now you might implement a social media tool as explained below, but the real goal is to increase interactions that lead to informal learning, while a supporting process is the tool itself.
Visions do not have to come from the top, but rather anywhere within the organization. Informal leaders are often good sources of visions; however, if the vision requires resources, then they normally need the support of a formal leader.
In contrast, Control is the process used to establish and provide structure in order to deal with uncertainties. Visions normally produce change, which in turn produce tension. These uncertainties cause tensions that leaders must deal with so they do not impede the organization. This is far different from most people's conception in which they think of control as controlling others.
For example, an organization might implement a new social media tool to enable its worker to interact with others and aid the process of informal learning more effectively. After implementing the tool the leader might ask, “Is the tool we provided to increase the effectiveness of informal learning really working?” Thus, control is also used to measure and evaluate.
Inherent in evaluation is efficiency—the act of examining the new tool often leads to processes that make it more efficient. This can be good because it can save money and often improve a tool or process. The danger of this is if the command process is weak and the control process is strong then it can make efficiency the end-goal. That is, it replaces effectiveness with efficiency.
A good example of this is our present economy that caused many organizations to perform massive layoffs. Now the very same organizations are complaining that they cannot find qualified workers. Efficiency over road effectiveness—they failed to realize that they would need a trained workforce in the future.

Leadership and Management

Management's primary focus is on the conceptual side of the business, such as planning, organizing, and budgeting. It does the leg work to make visions reality. Do NOT equate the term “management" with “controlling people." Management is more about ensuring that the organization's resources are allocated wisely, rather than trying to control people. In fact, good managers know that trying to control others is extremely difficult if not impossible.
Management helps to acquire, integrate, and allocate resources in order to accomplish goals and task. Going back to the above example of increasing informal learning by implementing a new social media tool, the managers must look at the real goal, rather than the tool. The real goal is to increase informal learning and human interactions in order to make them more effective, not to put into place a media tool.
If the tool becomes the primary goal, then the wrong polices could be put into place that decrease its value as an informal learning tool, for example, implementing a policy that no one in the company can ask a question on Twitter as it might make us look stupid or our competitors will know what we are trying to do. This policy removes the real purpose of the tool—enabling the employees to learn informally from each other.
Secondly, if the focus is only on the tool, then other options are omitted, such as tearing down cubicles and creating spaces where people can meet.
In contrast, Leadership deals with the interpersonal relations such as being a teacher and coach, instilling organizational spirit to win, and serving the organization and workers.

The Synergy of the Four Pillars

While all four processes have their place, they are not implemented separately, but rather in concert. Using the example of implementing a new social media tool for increasing informal learning:

• Command communicates the vision or goal to the best people who can implement it. Throughout the process, it adjusts to new knowledge and refines the vision.
• Management allocates the resources and helps to organize the activities that will make it a reality. This is normally a continuous process, rather than a single activity.
• Leadership helps to guide, coach, and motivate the people to do their best throughout the entire process.
• Control looks for opportunities to reduce risks, which in turn makes the process more efficient.

The four pillars need to be in harmony with each other. As the diagram below show, when one or more of them is too strong, the organization falls out of balance:

Likewise, if any of the pillars become too weak, it drives the organization out of balance:

Thus, the four pillars must consistently be weighed against each other to ensure they are in a proper balance that allows the organization to grow and prosper.

ONLY DEAD FISH SWIM WITH THE STREAM

Life is difficult. And the Rule is to thank God it is so. If it was
all fluffy and easy we wouldn't be tested, tried, forged in the fire
of life. We wouldn't grow or learn or change, or have a chance to rise
above ourselves. If life were a series of lovely days, we'd soon get
bored. If there was no rain, then there wouldn't be any feeling of
great joy when it finally stopped and we could go to the beach. If it
was all easy we couldn't get stronger. So, be thankful it is a
struggle some of the time, and recognize that only dead fish swim with
the stream. For the rest of us there will be times when it's an
uphill, upstream struggle. We will have to battle waterfalls, weirs
and raging torrents. But we have no choice. We have to keep swimming
or get swept away. And each flick of our tail, each surge of our fins
makes us stronger and fitter, leaner and happier. There is a statistic
that suggests that for a lot of men, retirement is a really bad idea.
Lots of them die within a relatively short time of handing in their
briefcase. They have ceased to swim against the current and get swept
away. Keep swimming, little fish, keep swimming. Try to see each
setback as a chance to improve. They make you stronger, not weaker.
You only get burdened with as much as you can carry - although I do
appreciate that at times it may seem as if it's a whole lot moreg and
of course the struggles don't come to an end, but there are lulls
in-between times - backwaters where we can rest for a while and enjoy
the moment before the next obstacle gets thrown our way. And that's
what life is, what it is meant to be; a series of struggles and lulls.
And whatever situation you're in now, it's going to change. So what
are you in? Lull or struggle? Rain or going to the beach? Learning or
enjoying? Dead fish or healthy salmon?

CHOOSE HOW YOU MAKE YOUR BED

Every action you take, every decision you make, everything you do
causes an immediate effect on those around you - and on you. And that
is the important bit. There is such a thing as instant karma. It is
your bed and you are going to have to lie in it. Your actions will
dictate whether in general your life is going to run happily or badly,
smoothly or as if the wheels have fallen off. If you are generally
loving and thoughtful you will get your just rewards - and not in
heaven (or the next life or whatever you believe) but right here,
right now. Trust me. Whatever you do and how you do it will come back
to you in spades. This isn't a threat, merely an observation. Those
who do good, get good. Those who do bad, get bad. I know we can all
point to people who seem to have it made and are still pretty vile.
But they don't sleep at night. They have no one to really love them.
Inside they are sad and lonely and frightened. Those who go around
sharing a bit of love and kindness get rewarded with the same coming
back. It's a bit like the old adage that "You are what you eat". You
are what you do. Look at the faces of those who spread joy and you
will see laughter lines and smiles. Look at those who like to bully
and get their own way and are arrogant or demanding or vicious and you
will see etched lines of misery and fear, and frowns where there ought
to be lightness. These lines won't ever be taken away by face creams
or suntans or plastic surgery. They are what they do and you can see
it in their eyes. And the state of their bed of course. So be careful
how you make you bed. What goes around, comes around. There is instant
karma. What you sow you reap. Better to stand up and be counted right
from the start. Do the right thing, every time. You know what it is.
Then when you get in the bed you've made, not only will you be able to
sleep at night, but you'll sleep the sleep of the just.

NEVER LEND MONEY UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO WRITE IT OFF.

The full title should actually be: Never lend money - to a friend or
your children or siblings or even parents - unless you are prepared to
write off either the money or the relationship. There is a lovely
story told, I think, about Oscar Wilde (correct me if I've got the
wrong person) who borrowed a book from a friend and forgot to return
it. His friend turned up and demanded the book back by which time
young Oscar had lost it. His friend asked Oscar if he wasn't
jeopardizing the friendship by not returning the book. Oscar Wilde
merely replied, "Yes. But aren't you also doing the same thing by
demanding it back?" If you lend money - or a book or anything else -
don't do it unless you are prepared for it to be lost, forgotten, not
returned, broken, ignored, whatever. If you are precious about it,
then don't lend it in the first place. If it means a lot to you, keep
it safe. If you do lend anything, including money, then don't expect
to get it back if you value the friendship - or relationship. If you
do get it back then that is a bonus. If you don't, well you were
prepared for that in the first place. Lots of parents make the mistake
of lending money to their children and then getting all hurt and
disappointed when they don't get repaid. But they have spend the
child's entire life giving them money and then as soon as they get a
bit grown up and go away to university or whatever, the parents
suddenly start saying it's a loan and demanding repayment. Of course
isn't going to repay it. They haven't been trained to. It is
unrealistic to expect them to do so. If they do, count your blessing
and be grateful for the bonus. Same with friends. Don't lend them
anything if the non-return is going to matter to you. It is your
choice after all. You don't have to lend anything to anyone. If you
choose to do so, be prepared to write if off or don't do it. Obviously
if the money means more to you than the friendship, then of course
demand it to be repaid - and add interest as well. And the same goes
for siblings or parents (goodness don't ever lend money to them,
they'll never pay it back). So who should you lend money to? Strangers
of course. And they won't pay it back either.

BE ON THE SIDE OF THE ANGELS, NOT THE BEASTS.

Every single day of our lives we are faced with an immense number of
choices. And each and every one of them usually boils down to a simple
choice between being on the side of the angels or the beasts. Which
are you going to pick? Or did you not even realize what was going on?
Let me explain. Every action we make has an effect on our family,
people around us, society, the world in general. And that effect can
be positive or detrimental - it's usually our choice. And sometimes it
is a difficult choice. We get torn between what we want and what is
good for others; personal satisfaction or magnanimity. Look, no one
said this was going to be easy. And making the decision to be on the
side of angels is often a tough call. But if we want to succeed in
this life - and I measure success by how close we get to generating
that self-satisfaction/happiness/contentment - then we have to
consciously do this. This can be what we dedicate our lives to -
angels and not beasts. If you want to know if you have already made
the choice, just do a quick check of how you feel and how you react if
someone cuts in front of you in a line of traffic in the rush hour. Or
when you're in a big hurry and someone stops to ask you for
directions. Or if you have teenage children and one of them gets into
trouble with the police. Or when you lend a friend money and they fail
to pay it back. Or if your boss calls you a fool in front of the rest
of your colleagues. Or your neighbor's trees start to encroach on your
property. Or, or, or. As I said it is a choice we have to make
everyday, lots of times. And it has to become an conscious choice to
be effective. Now, the problem is that no one is going to tell you
exactly what constitutes an angel or a beast. Here you are going to
have to set your own parameters. But come on, it can't be that
difficult. I think an awful lot of it is self-evident. Does it hurt or
hinder? Are you part of the problem or the solution? Will things get
better or worse if you do certain things? You have to make this choice
for yourself alone. It is your interpretation of what is an angel or
beast that counts. There is no point telling anyone else that they are
on the side of the beasts, as they may have a totally different
definition. What other people do is their choice and they won't thank
you for telling them otherwise. You can of course watch, as an
impassive, objective, observer and think to yourself: "I wouldn't have
done it like that." Or "I think they just chose to be an angel." Or
even, "Gosh, how beastly." But you don't have to say anything.

ORANGE PEEL

Back in 1911, a stuntman named Bobby Leach went over the Niagara Falls
in a specially designed steel drum - and lived to tell about it.
Although he suffered minor injuries, he survived because he recognised
the tremendous dangers involved in the feat, and he had done
everything he could to protect himself from harm. Several years later,
while walking down the street in New Zealand, Bobby Leach slipped on
an orange peel, fell, and badly fractured his leg. He was taken to a
hospital where he died of complications from that fall. He recieved a
greater injury walking down the street than he sustained in going over
the Niagara Falls. He was not prepared for danger in what he assumed
to be a safe situation. Some of the big problems we have that roar
around us like the rushing waters of the Niagara will leave us
unharmed, while a small, seemingly insignificant ones may cause our
downfall. Why? We simply become careless and do not recognise the
potential danger. We mistakenly think we are secure. We must always be
on guard. To be victorious and successful in life, we must watch out
even for those little "orange peels."

CHOOSING TO EXHALE

Too many of us like life to be hard. We get turned on by the frenzy of
running here and there, trying to fix things, all at the last minute!
As a recovering hard-aholic, this is what I know now: Working hard and
doing the hard work are not the same. One of my favorite bible verses,
Proverbs 3:6, says, "Seek His will in all you do and he will show you
what path to take." In the past, I lost sight of this promise. I
thought my life had to be hard to be worth anything. I had watched the
adults around me struggle with such finesse, I grew up believing it
was necessary for my proper development. I struggled through bad
relationships, believing hardship, hurt and pain were the natural
order. I knew how to take a punch, and I refused to be knocked down. I
now know that just because YOU CAN TAKE A PUNCH DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE
TO STAND IN FRONT OF A FIST, particularly when that fist is your own.
Life does not have to be hard! Our frenetic pace is often an attempt
to deny those places within that are terrifying to face. If you serve
on five committees in church, you can deny the unhappiness in your
marriage. How can you be faulted for your nasty attitude when you're
working 20 hours overtime each week? When you're overwhelmed by
demands, how can you be expected to attend to your inner landscape? We
settle for less than we want because we are too busy to pursue our
heart's desires. We say yes when we need to say no because we don't
have the time to deal with confrontation. Working hard becomes an
excuse to avoid addressing our deeper needs. What I know now is that
when we believe we are deficient, we create distractions. When we are
not willing to confront the anger, fear, shame, guilt and resentment
we may harbor, we struggle. But the truth is, we discover who we are
not by wrestling with our circumstances, but by listening for God's
guidance. WORK CLARIFIES AND ENHANCES OUR PURPOSE. IT DOES NOT DEFINE
IT. PRAYER DEFINES OUR PURPOSE. MEDITATION CRYSTALLIZES IT. STILLNESS
SHOWS US HOW TO DO IT. You life is a demonstration of your
relationship with God. It's time you free yourself from WORKING HARD
and to choose instead to do the HARD WORK - sitting in silence,
listening to God, and being obedient to the wisdom of your inner
voice.

IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL

It is very easy to moan, to complain, to criticize. It is much harder
to always find something nice to say about a situation or a person.
But think of it now as a huge challenge. Saying something nice is hard
because our natural inclination is to moan. If someone asks how the
weekend camping went, it's easier to start on the bad weather and the
promblems with the campsite and the annoying behavior of the people in
the next-door caravan, than it is the joy of being with people you
wanted to be with and in a fantastic setting. When a friend asks how
you're getting on with your boss, the things they do that really annoy
you usually spring to mind before the upsides. No matter how horrid
someone is, there is always something about them that is good. Your
job is to find that good bit and highlight it, speak about it, draw
attention to it. Same with a situation that seems troublesome. I
remember reading once of someone who was on the Metro in Paris during
a major strike. It was chaos and people were shoving and pushing and
it was pretty horrendous. There was a woman with a small child there
and it could have been quite scary. She bent down to the child and
said quite brightly, 'This, my dear, is what they call an adventure'.
It has become a pet phrase of mine in times of crisis and trouble.
When asked your opinion of someone, something, somewhere, you need to
find something good to say, something flattering and positive. There
is ample evidence that being positive has many benefits but the most
noticeable is that people will gravitate towards you and not even know
why. That positive air about you is attractive. People like being
around those who are upbeat, positive, happy and confident. We need to
bite our tongue more and say good things more often. Obviously if you
are only going to say good things, then this cuts out back-biting,
gossiping, slagging off, telling tales, being rude about people,
complaining (you are allowed to point out defects or problems but in a
constructive way). And that could leave you with a big gap to fill.
Before opening your mouth, try - just for a week - to find something
good to say. It's one of those things that will amaze you by how it
improves your life, but don't take my word for it - just try it. And
if all else fails, and you really can't think of anything positive to
say at all, then don't say anything. At all.

YOU HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR THEM TO BE INDEPENDENT, STRONG, OUT IN THE WORLD SEPERATE FROM YOU

Just because we come together to be a couple for however long, doesn't
mean we are joined at the hip and have to think the same, do the same,
feel the same, react the same. I have noticed that the most successful
relationships are the ones where the couple is strong together but
also strong apart. The best relationships are the ones where both are
supportive of each other's interest even if they aren't their own.
Being supportive of your partner and what they want to do means you
have to be very centered yourself not to feel jealous or mistrustful
or resentful. You have to be prepared for them to be independent,
strong, out in the world seperate from you. It can be hard. It can ask
a lot of you. It can be a real test of how much you care and how
protective you tend to be. The more freedom you
give/allow/tolerate/encourage, the more likely they will be to
reciprocate and return. If a partner feels they are encouraged and
trusted, they are much less likely to 'stray' or want out because they
feel hemmed in or caged. The more supportive you are, the more they
will feel they are being treated kindly and that is a good. But what
if you disagree with what they want to do? Then you have to look at
your own stuff I'm afraid. You see, they are a seperate human being
and entitled to do pretty well whatever they want to do - assuming it
isn't hurtful to you or in any serious way jeopardizes the
relationship (such as sleeping with other people or commiting crimes)
- and it is your role to be supportive. You may need to question what
it is about what they want to do that you find hard to go along with.
This might be more about you than them. Ask yourself - if they do
this, if they go ahead, what's the worst that can happen? They make a
mess of your floor, ruin part of the garden, spend money on something
you don't want, aren't around much for a week. Now compare that to the
thought of them leaving or living with you frustrated and unhappy.
Which is worse? Of course, just because they say they want to do
something doesn't mean they will. Some very stubborn types will
however be more likely to go ahead and do it just because you're
objecting to everything they mention. Say 'yes' and they might well
never bother anyway. We forget that our partner is a seperate entity.
We forget that they too have dreams and plans and unfulfilled
ambitions. It is our job to encourage them to find their path, to
realize those ambitions, to stretch themselves to their fullest
extent, to be complete and satisfied and fulfilled. It is not our job
to put them down, ridicule their dreams, belittle their plans or laugh
at their ambitions. It is not our job to discourage them, put them
off, place obstacles in their path or restrict them in any way. It is
our job to encourage them to soar.

CHANGE WHAT YOU CAN CHANGE, LET GO OF THE REST.

Time is short. This another of those facts you can't escape; it's a
given. If time is short then it makes sense not to go wasting any of
it, not a single lovely drop of it. It's my observation that the
successful people in this life are the ones who wring every last ounce
of satisfaction and energy out of life. They pay attention to what, in
their life, they have some control over and they simply, economically
(time-wise), let go of the rest. If someone asks you directly for
help, then that's something you can do - or not as you choose. If the
whole world asks you for help, then there is very little you can do.
Beating yourself over it is counter-productive and such a waste of
time. Now I'm not saying to stop caring about things or to walk away
from those in need. In fact quite the opposite in many ways, but there
are areas in which you can make a personal difference and other areas
where you'll never even make a dent. If you waste time struggling to
change stuff that is obviously never going to be changed, then life
will whizz past and you'll miss it. If, on the other hand, you
dedicate yourself personally to things you can change, areas where you
can make a difference, then life becomes richer and more fulfilled.
And the more rich it is, curiously, the more time you seem to have.
Obviously if lots of us get together we can change pretty well
anything. If you have the ear of a President, you might be able to
shape policy that affects the entire nation. If you have the ear of
the Pope, you might have a hand in shaping the next Papal Bull. If you
have the ear of a General, you might avert a war. If you the ear of an
Editor, you might get your name in print. If you have the ear of the
Head Waiter, you might get the best table. And so on and so on. So
whose ear have you got? What influence do you have and what change you
can effect by using that influence? Often the only ear we have is our
own. The only definite influence we have is over ourselves. The only
thing we can really, really change is exactly that - ourselves.
Wonderful. What an opportunity to do some good. What a chance to make
a real contribution. Begin with ourselves and let it spread outwards.
This way we don't have to waste time preaching to those who won't
listen. We don't have to waste effort or energy or resources on things
which we have no control and no certainty of any success. By changing
ourselves though we can be assured of a result. Result.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO DREAM

This may seem incredibly obvious, incredibly easy but you would be surprised how many people seriously limit their dreams. They're YOUR dreams for heaven's sake. There should be no limit to them. Plans have to be realistic; dreams don't. I worked in the casino business for many years and was always intrigued that 'punters' (what we should really call 'customers') could never see it; that they would always lose because they wouldn't limit their losses but would always limit their winnings. Don't ask me why. I guess addicted gamblers are seriously not well. They'd go in with the right attitude - 'I'll just lose this fiver and then pack it in'. Result: They'd lose the fiver and cash a check to chase it. Then another to chase the lost check. And another. I'm not advocating gambling by the way - not now, not ever. It's really not a good idea, believe me. The point is that people limit their dreams the way they limit their winnings. And yet dreams are at worst harmless. Don't limit them! You are allowed to dream as high, as wide, as big, as extravagant, as impossible, as wacky, as silly, as bizarre, as unrealistically nonsensical as you want. You are allowed to wish for anything you want as well. Look, wishes and dreams are all private affairs. There are no wish police, no dream doctors who are on rampage looking out for unrealistic demands. It is a private thing between you and... that's it. Between you and absolutely no one else at all. The only note of caution here - and I do speak from personal experience - is be very careful what you wish for, what you dream of, it might just come true. And where would you be then? A lot of people think their dreams have to be realistic to be worth dreaming about. But that's a plan and that is something quite different. I have plans and I take logical steps to make them come to fruition. Dreams are allowed to be so improbable that they are never likely to come true. And don't go thinking you'll never achieve anything by sitting around day-dreaming all day. Some of the most successful people have also been those who have dared to dream the most. Isn't it a coincidence.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE A FRIEND, BE A GOOD FRIEND

Being a real friend is a tremendous responsibility. You have to be
loyal, honest (but not too honest), sincere, reliable, dependable,
friendly (stands to reason really), pleasant, open, sociable (not much
point having friends if you're not going to be sociable is there?),
responsive, welcoming and gracious. You also have to be forgiving at
times, be prepared to offer help, support and sympathy. At the same
time you don't want to be taken advantage of nor have the wool pulled
over your eyes. And you may have to be brutally candid at times and be
prepared to risk the friendship by being so. Yet equally there are
times you need to hold your tongue and keep your opinion to yourself.
They are you friends, not clones of you - they do things differently.
You have to be counsellor, confessor, priest, helper, companion,
friend, confidant(e) and comrade. You have to offer the friendship
enthusiasm, dedication, determination, creativity, interest, passion
and drive. And this all what you have to do. What do they have to do?
Well, in an ideal world the same. If they fail to do any of this, you
will still carry on being their friend, being forgiving, being
supportive and being there. The most important bit is being there. You
are there when they are going through it and not just being there for
the good times. You will be there when they need you in the early
hours, the dark days, the times of trouble and stress. You will be
there to hold their hand, let them cry on your shoulder, lend them a
hanky, pat them on the back and make them endless cups of tea. And you
will tell them to cheer up, not to worry, stop being such a fool,
whatever it takes to get them up and at it again. You will be there to
give them good advice. You will be there just to listen at times. You
will be there when you don't want to be. You will be there when all
their friends have fallen by the wayside. You will be there no matter
what. Someone once said that a real friend is someone you can be
having a conversation with as they get on a plane, you don't see them
for ten years and when they arrive back they carry on the conversation
as they get off the plane like a moment hadn't passed. That's exactly
how it is between good friends.

SUNSET IN ONE LAND IS SUNRISE IN ANOTHER

Sunset in one land is sunrise in another.

AVOID THE UNHAPPY AND UNLUCKY

You can die from someone else's misery -emotional states are as
infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man
but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate
sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on
you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

WIN THROUGH YOUR ACTIONS, NEVER THROUGH ARGUMENT

Any momentary triumph you think you have gained through argument is
really a Pyrrhic victory: The resentment and ill will you stir up is
stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change of opinion. It is
much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your
actions, without saying a word. Demonstrate, do not explicate.

ALWAYS SAY LESS THAN NECESSARY

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say,
the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are
saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague,
open-minded, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by
saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say
something foolish.

NEVER OUTSHINE THE MASTER

Alway make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire
to please and impress them, do not go too far in displaying your
talents or you might accomplish the opposite - inspire fear and
insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and
you will attain the heights of power.

TREAT YOUR PARTNER BETTER THAN YOUR BEST FRIEND

I was talking to a friend about this rule the other day and she
disagreed with me emphatically. She said you had to treat your friends
better because you knew them better and you owed them more loyalty. I
then went on to talk to another friend and she said that wasn't the
case. You treated your partner better because you knew them less well.
Intriguing. My point is you should treat your partner better than your
friends because your partner is both lover and friend. And idieally
BEST friend. If they're not, then who is? And why? Is it because they
are the opposite sex and you need a same-sex best friend? Is it
because you don't see a lover as a friend? (If you do answer yes to
this, what do you see your partner as ...what is their role or
function in being your partner?). Again all this is about being
conscious. Treating your partner better than your best friend means
you have given it some thought and made a conscious decision to do so
- or not if it's the case. I would have thought treating your partner
better than your best friend would have been a given. This means not
interfering, respecting their privacy, treating them like independent
grown-ups. You only have to look around to see couples who treat each
other like small children, nagging, scolding, arguing, criticizing,
nit-picking. They wouldn't do it with their friends, so why do they do
it with the one person who is supposed to mean heaven and earth to
them? I'll give you an example. You are a passenger in a car being
driven by a friend. They make a foolish error (though not a dangerous
one). You would probably start teasing and laugh a lot. Now imagine
the same scenario but with your partner who has messed up. Do you: 1.
Make them feel very small? 2. Not let them forget it in a long while?
3. Tell everyone else? 4. Take over the driving for a while on the
grounds they're not to be trusted? 5. Treat them the same as you would
a friend and laugh a lot?
Hopefully the last one, but watch other couples in similar situations
and see what they do.

KNOW WHERE TRUE HAPPINESS COMES FROM

No, I'm not about to reveal the secret people have sought since the
begining of time -where true happiness comes from. But I do know where
it isn't to be found. And I do have an inkling where it might be.
Let's take a scenario. You go out to buy a new
car/house/suit/computer/whatever turns you on. You have the money and
you buy whatever it is, and it makes you feel
incredible/happy/excited/fantastic. Now imagine whoever it was who
built/made/created whatever it is you bought. When they made it, where
did they fit that feeling in? I think you might have brought that
feeling with you. Now imagine you fall in love. It is again
incredible. You feel fantastic, happy, excited. You go to meet your
new love and when you see them, that feeling spills out in all
directions. You feel amazing because you are with them and they are
generating that feeling. Right? Wrong. Again you brought it all with
you. You may look to them to trigger it but even if they go to the
other end of the planet, you'll still have that feeling and they're
nowhere near you. You get fired. Ghastly. You get given your papers.
You walk away devastated. You feel like nothing. Now where in that
document is that feeling you now have? Nowhere, that's right. Again
you brought it all with you. We all go to work every day with the
potential to have that 'I've just been fired' feeling. We all meet new
people with the 'I've fallen head over heals in love' feeling. But no
amount of falling in love, buying new stuff or getting sacked is going
to keep that feeling going for longer than it takes us to get over it.
People get addicted to buying new stuff or falling in love or whatever
because they just love that feeling without realizing that they
already have it. They have to keep having their 'fix' because they
think its the only way to get that feeling going. The secret is
knowing how to trigger it without anyone else or anything else being
involved. No, I don't know. You have to find that one for yourself.
Clue: It's the one place you'd never think of looking, yep, right
inside you.