IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL

It is very easy to moan, to complain, to criticize. It is much harder
to always find something nice to say about a situation or a person.
But think of it now as a huge challenge. Saying something nice is hard
because our natural inclination is to moan. If someone asks how the
weekend camping went, it's easier to start on the bad weather and the
promblems with the campsite and the annoying behavior of the people in
the next-door caravan, than it is the joy of being with people you
wanted to be with and in a fantastic setting. When a friend asks how
you're getting on with your boss, the things they do that really annoy
you usually spring to mind before the upsides. No matter how horrid
someone is, there is always something about them that is good. Your
job is to find that good bit and highlight it, speak about it, draw
attention to it. Same with a situation that seems troublesome. I
remember reading once of someone who was on the Metro in Paris during
a major strike. It was chaos and people were shoving and pushing and
it was pretty horrendous. There was a woman with a small child there
and it could have been quite scary. She bent down to the child and
said quite brightly, 'This, my dear, is what they call an adventure'.
It has become a pet phrase of mine in times of crisis and trouble.
When asked your opinion of someone, something, somewhere, you need to
find something good to say, something flattering and positive. There
is ample evidence that being positive has many benefits but the most
noticeable is that people will gravitate towards you and not even know
why. That positive air about you is attractive. People like being
around those who are upbeat, positive, happy and confident. We need to
bite our tongue more and say good things more often. Obviously if you
are only going to say good things, then this cuts out back-biting,
gossiping, slagging off, telling tales, being rude about people,
complaining (you are allowed to point out defects or problems but in a
constructive way). And that could leave you with a big gap to fill.
Before opening your mouth, try - just for a week - to find something
good to say. It's one of those things that will amaze you by how it
improves your life, but don't take my word for it - just try it. And
if all else fails, and you really can't think of anything positive to
say at all, then don't say anything. At all.